I was never an Obamabot. Didn't like him for a long time. He was cool, and charismatic, but I saw in him overarching ego -- more than anything. I didn't percieve evil. Could never picture him cackling over the dinner table with Michelle, Sasha, and Melia. Even now, after reading about a RASH of suspicious ISSUES, under his administrations, I can't see him cackling maniacally over some wicked deed, as the famous first dog, Bo, whimpers.
Obama reminded me of my sister. Self posessed. Princely. Proud. Self contained to a fault. Also, someone in possession of a fully functioning conscience, and a top notch dry sense of humor. But, not someone inspired by idealism. "Ah, a Leo, Lauren," I said to her one day, when hearing his birthdate. And though she and I don't much buy astrology, that sign made sense. She's a Leo too.
A desire to serve the public? I didn't see it. Oprah was a fan, and a pusher. It's as if Obama was flying high on the wings of Oprah, and a Bush weary public. A few fine speeches? So what. I missed most of them, but caught snippets. I wasn't too impressed. I guess I'm only impressed by those who do things I can't do.
When it came to race, I would prefer a black man or woman win, if an equally good candidate, because the struggles of African Americans could maybe be lessened. It would be a beautiful testament that our country wasn't a race obsessed cesspool. I have warmer feeling towards African Americans than I do towards most white folks. I do assume that black people have a keener sense of civil rights and justice, and more soul and more humor, on the whole, so that would be a plus. I resented the label of racism being thrown at Obama's detractors. Some were, some weren't.
I stayed far away from Oprah picks. I'm Oprah-phobic. Her well publicized enthusiasm, didn't make me distrust Obama, but it cast on him the appearance of Hollywood hype. I thought that surely experience had to count for something. I wanted Hillary to win.
Was never crazy about her either. No political figure ever struck me as a soul mate type. The desire for power or prestige is lost on me. Recognition is nice, but the rest.... so the most I could expect from them was some trust.
Then, as I went through a massive shift in perspective, about America and its systems, I saw Obama as playing no part. I admit to not being interested in politics or how government works. I simply was sure he had no control over the strange absence of checks and balances.
Along the way, I began to see him and Michelle as cool characters. Humorous and real.
Obama's delivery at the Correspondent's dinners sold me. He "got it" and you can't fake that kind of funny. I saw in him the same sensibility as possessed by sister and me.
If not soul mate types, the Obama's struck me as a couple that would be real fun to hang out with. I trusted that if they knew what was done to me, and my family by some rogue L.A rackets in the courts.... they'd be outraged. I had no idea for a very long time that rogue is the new rich. I desperately didn't want Romney, and didn't pay any mind to a third party candidate. Even as late as last year, I shut out all that cast Obama as some Satan.
Flash forward to a very recent time(Maybe, just six months ago,) and all of the dots that were there all along, and seen by many -- started to become visible to me. But, not crystal clear visible, just yet. The Eureka moment is still in the wings. I suspect that will come in my lifetime. Or, I pray it does... because so many dots, and their failure to present the complete picture-- tough stuff when it leads to justice denial for much longer than the story would promise.
Still, I find it nearly impossible to see Obama as the ruthless sociopath presented by both the Left and Right. If he is apprised of the dark ages stuff going on, under his watch, there is to me--no apologies to me made for him. If he has the power and chance to do the right thing, and does nothing... or even a little or even less than a lot... he's a monster. The lesser of evils partisan bullshit has to be RETIRED.
But, hard as the ' Obama as sociopath' sales pitch still seems, the salesman only has a little more to go to close the deal with me.
Flash forward to more dots and more connections.
Stewing stories of scandals, and whistleblowers terrorized, jailed, and even killed. Slowly but surely realizing that the USA presently has no cavalry. Ruthless Capitalism doesn't benefit from protecting the public. The cavalries we've come to expect(DOJ, FBI, ACLU, The press, The public et al.) have been rendered into stooges. How shocked I was to see FEMA so missing as day after day Americans rotted in a Superdome! As long as the grace of god keeps you self sufficient-- you likely won't notice. At least not enough, to care enough.
Flash forward to Syria.
I see Obama trying to sell us on military action, and I am too exhausted to express much better than this:
"Bullshit. Every time I see you lips move, I ... just don't believe a word. Yeah, sure sure we can't let innocent people suffer. I don't trust you, sir. Do you know about all the un-American actions of those who answer to you? They say you do. OMG, are you evil? That would be some story. What a smooth criminal if so. If you know just 1% of what I now know and you,and you've done as little as you've done... evil. If you have actively supported, or even instigated the vicious assault on free speech and whistleblowers... super evil. Blah Blah blah lecturing Russia and Syria, or anyone at all. Russia has granted our greatest hope, asylum, President assface. Some chutzpah to make any pretense at moral superiority when investigative journalists are gagged or jailed or killed. Let's not even get into how Stalin's playbook is popular with prosecutors and judges nowadays. You make me have to talk of serious things and use super serious words like fascism and plutocracy's . Please, let me return to the silly woman I was meant to be. OMG. So stressful to have this level of distrust for you. Make it less so, Barack. Do it for Bo. No? My poor mother. Do it for her. Whatever. Is all this press about Syria a means to distract from what Snowden knows? Are you a nervous wreck now that you let him get loose? Oh, it sucks to feel paranoid when you are a trusting sod type. Hmmm....Buying time till the house of cards falls down over your white house? Talk to me Barry!"
This one sided dialogue, directed at the image of Obama on TV, is not very impressive. Not very smart. Certainly, not well reasoned or the product of scholarly research.
But, once the trust is gone... Where does it go?
Lauren Spitzberg's (copyrighted) illustrations for a current great cause-
"Free Barrett Brown," might be too ambitious a slogan, considering the recent gag order of his case. Let's start with Support.