I wanted to see if it was cruel to mock Miley Cyrus's seeming Tongue control issues. What if it was a Tourette's type symptom?
These are my findings:
Sometime in the beginning of the century, Ms. Cyrus, began losing control of it in a more seemly fashion. The devil's horns, or whatever finger movements she chose to make, were also less pronounced.
Soon, a photo emerges where she is using her tongue to disguise her cuspids( or whatever those teeth are called) in what appears to be a tooth hugging maneuver, but is really the beginning of her( medically based,) loss of tongue control.
A few years passed.
No tongue control concerns can be seen in this advertisement for a thick lip balm. This blogger won't comment on how a lip balm shouldn't look like a hard boiled egg. That simply isn't my area of interest. Note the whiteness of her extended sports bra.
Then
Nearly six months later, after that was snapped, her tongue seemed to find a mind of its own.
It is here that Miley's tongue began to be seen in its entirety. The use of a bat, when she clearly isn't on a baseball field, hints at a downward spiral plagued by thrusting tongues and cheap phallic imagery, but when it came to the tongue-- not in her control!
An intervention was canceled, when she showed up looking semi Sado Masochistic, but with tongue firmly behind her lips. It is unlikely that it was planted in her cheek. Loosely or firmly.
The Calabasas center for tongue control-- a federally funded rehab facility that caters to Californians who can't control their tongues- took credit. There was only three relapses after two straight years, and it was barely noticed.
This week the world watched as Ms. Cyrus fell off the wagon something fierce.
And, what did they do??? The world, that is. They judged. They called her a slut. They likely didn't know about her progressive tongue condition. Note how her tongue is almost forking!? If she doesn't seek further treatment soon, her tongue will start licking her own clavicle.
She will be returning to the Calabasas center for tongue control right after a meeting with PR aficionado, Howard Bregman.
Let us pray for her speedy recovery. If she relapses again her tongue might begin to show up in public, whilst ensconced in an orifice. Hanna Montana does Dallas etc.